I’ve spent over £160,000 and 10 YEARS on unsuccessful fertility treatments – but I have no regrets

Stacey Brass-Russell, a transformational life and business coach from New York, US, has revealed that she has “no regrets” after spending £161,200 on multiple failed fertility treatments – despite ten years of trying to have a baby with her husband Christopher. The couple, who fell in love 13 years ago, knew that trying for a baby in their 40s would be difficult, so they turned to a range of fertility treatments. Unfortunately, over the course of ten years, these attempts sadly ended in multiple miscarriages and set the couple back an estimated $200,000 (USD) (£161,000).

Despite the heartbreak and expense, Stacey insists that she and Christopher still have no regrets, as time was of the essence and they wanted to keep their eye on the prize. Stacey said: “Our philosophy is you can always make more money, but you can’t make more time. We never wanted to look back and think we hadn’t tried everything.” The couple tried three IVF cycles which were unsuccessful, before turning to using donor eggs. Over the course of ten years, multiple donor eggs and embryo cycles, and countless hormone injections, the couple endured 12 failed fertility attempts.

However, their marriage remained strong throughout the process. Stacey said: “Fertility treatments can take a serious toll on a marriage and can break people apart. Luckily, my husband and I are a team and we took this journey together. We had an aligned vision.” She added that every time there was a failed fertility treatment or miscarriage, she processed it, dealt with her feelings, and moved forward.

Stacey and Christopher used their final donor embryo in December 2021, which resulted in a miscarriage, and felt at peace that they had tried everything and could move forward. While their journey didn’t have the ending they hoped for, the pair are now looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together. They never put their lives on hold even when going through fertility treatments, and Stacey even started a new career at 50, completing her coaching certification and deciding to use all the knowledge and skills she had developed in her life to help and empower others.

She said that not being able to have children isn’t something that defines her and that she has been fortunate in every aspect of her life, having the best relationship and tremendous business success. Stacey and Christopher are perfect partners and love their lives, focusing on themselves as big foodies who dine out in the best restaurants or watch Broadway shows. Stacey believes that investing in one’s dreams is never a waste of time and that life is hard but there’s always something one can do about it. She said that because they don’t have a baby, they get to look at life differently and plan for things they wouldn’t have been able to do if they were parents.

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